Sike Yo Mind - Come Join The Fun!

Brenda O’Malley is home making dinner as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. “Brenda, may I come in?” he asks. “I’ve somethin’ to tell ya.”
“Of course you can come in. You’re always welcome, Tim.
But where’s my husband?”

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Buckwheat from the Little Rascals became a Muslim.

Now they call him Kareem of Wheat!

 A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men saying the following;

“Emma come first. Denna I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Denna I come once-a more.”

“You fowl-mouthed swine,” retorted the lady indignantly. “In this country we don’t talk about our sex lives in public!”

Hey, coola down lady,” said the man, “Imma justa tellun my friend howa to spella Mississippi.”

Dung On MAI Shu————I stepped in excrement
Ai Wan Tu Bang Yu———Let’s sleep together
Ai Bang Mai Ne————–I bumped into the coffee table
Fat Ho———————An unattractive woman
Ar U Wun Tu—————–A gay liberation greeting
Chin Tu Fat—————-You need a face lift
Chow Mai Dong————-Romantic proposition
Dum Gai———————A stupid person
Wel Hung Gai—————-Is that a banana in your pocket?
Won Hung Low————-Southern Chinese dialect for Wel Hung Gai
Gun Pao Der—————–An ancient Chinese invention
Hu Flung Dung—————Which one of you fertilized the field?
Hu Yu Hai Ding————–We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugutive
Jan Ne Ka Sun—————A former late night talk show host
Kum Hia———————Approach me
Lao Ze Sho——————Gilligan’s Island
Lao Zi———————-Not very good
Lin Ching——————-An illegal execution
Moon Lan Ding————-A great achievement of the American space program
Ne Ahn———————-A lighting fixture used in advertising signs
Shai Gai——————–A bashful person
Tai Ne Bae Be————A premature infant
Tai Ne Po Ne————–A small horse
Ten Ding Ba—————-Serving drinks to people
Wan Bum Lung————-A person with T.B.
Yu Mai Te Tan————–Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you
Wa Shing Kah—————Cleaning an automobile
Wai So Dim——————Are you trying to save electricity?
Wai U Shao Ting———-There is no reason to raise your voice

A man from the Welfare department was interviewing a lady who had requested assistance and he was reviewing her form. He noted that she stated that she had three sons, but only has one name listed, “Leroy”. “Yes”, she replied, “All three sons are named Leroy.”

“Why would you do that?”, inquired the government worker.

“It makes it much easier to get things done.”, was her reply. “Leroy, time for bath.” And they all would get in the bath. “Leroy, time for supper.” And they all would come to the table.

Amazed, the government worker then inquired how did she get personal if she wanted to talk with just one of her sons.

“Oh that’s easy”, she replied. “I just call them by their last name.”

You Know You’re From California When…
1. The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway
2. Your were born somewhere else
3. You know how to eat an artichoke
4. The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic
5. Your car has bulletproof windows
6. Left is right and right is wrong
7. Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income
8. Your mouse has only one ball
9. If you need a new TV, you can run down to the local riot and pick one up
10. You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by
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During a service at an old synagogue in Eastern Europe, when the Shema prayer was said, half the congregants stood up and half remained sitting. The half that was seated started yelling at those standing to sit down, and the ones standing yelled at the ones sitting to stand up…

The rabbi, learned as he was in the Law and commentaries, didn’t know what to do. His congregation suggested that he consult a housebound 98-year old man, who was one of the original founders of their temple. The rabbi hoped the elderly man would be able to tell him what the actual temple tradition was, so he went to the nursing home with a representative of each faction of the congregation.

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Two Arabs boarded a shuttle out of Washington for New York. One sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat.

Just before take-off a fat, little Jewish guy got on and took the aisle seat next to the Arabs. He kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the arab in the window seat said, “I think I’ll go up and get a Coke.” (Shuttle flights do not have cabin attendants, but you probably knew that.)

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A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by a fierce tribe. The chief comes to them and says, “The bad news is that now that we’ve caught you, we’re going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die.”

The Frenchman says, “I take ze poison.” The chief gives him some poison, the Frenchman says, “Vive la France!” and drinks it down.

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 Some years ago, on Times Square in NYC, I observed a native American, in full Indian regalia, feather head dress, buckskin clothes, etc.

As a pretty woman would walk by, he would raise his right hand, in an Indian greeting, and say ” Wanna “.

I watched this ritual for about 20 minutes, and I became more curious as he kept making these greetings. Finally, I couldn’t resist any longer. I went up to the native American, and said, “I have been watching you, and I am confused. I thought that Indians say “How ”

He turned to me, obviously quite annoyed, and said…
“ME KNOW HOW…ME TRYING TO FIND WOMAN WHO WANNA!!”