Sike Yo Mind - Come Join The Fun!

Here’s some sure signs you may be a Canadian…

You’re not offended by the term, “Homo Milk” You understand, “Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine.” You know what it means to be on ‘pogey’. You know that “a mickey” and “2-4’s” mean “Party at the cabin, eh!!” You don’t hold your hand on your breast when you sing the national anthem. Read the rest of this entry »

Two Polish guys were taking their first trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas, which they’d never seen before. Each bought one.

The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, “I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.”

“Why not?” “I took one bite and went blind for half a minute!”

——————— There were three guys walking together, a Newfie, a Quebecer , and a Vancouver guy. They came across a lantern and a genie popped out.

“I will give you each one wish; that’s three wishes in total!” The Newfie said, “I am a fisherman, my dad’s a fisherman, and his dad was a fisherman, and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish”. Poof! The oceans were full of fish.

Read the rest of this entry »

How to identify a Canadian driver:
1. - One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: MONTREAL
2. - One hand on wheel, one finger out window: TORONTO
3. - One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: OTTAWA
4. - Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: SASKATOON, but driving in TORONTO
Read the rest of this entry »

There is a big controversy these days concerning when life begins. In Jewish tradition the fetus is not considered a viable human being until after graduation from medical or law school.

—————– Q: What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
A: One less drunk!

—————– Q: Why are there so many Italian men in New York named Tony?
A: When they came over to this country, they had “To NY” stamped on their foreheads.

Read the rest of this entry »

What is the difference between a Scottish man and a member of the Rolling Stones?

A member of the Rolling Stones says, “Hey you! Get off my cloud!” The Scot says, “Hey McCloud, get off my ewe!”

Two Arabs boarded a shuttle out of Washington for New York. One sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat.

Just before take-off a fat, little Jewish guy got on and took the aisle seat next to the Arabs. He kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, “I think I’ll go up and get a coke.”

Read the rest of this entry »

A Japanese man went to the eye doctor. The optometrist said to the
man, “Sir, I believe you have a cataract.” “Oh, no” replied the
Japanese man. “I dwive a Rincon Continentaw.”

Three Proofs that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into his father’s business.
2. He lived at home until the age of
33.
3. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure he was God.

Three Proofs that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He never held a steady job.
3. His last request was a drink.

Read the rest of this entry »

They’ll be watching us on November 5th (the day after the election) for signs of the end of time. To keep the peace and keep a lot of folks from getting nervous, I think we should develop a list of acceptable celebrations and behaviors we should probably avoid at least for the first few days:
 
1.  No crying, hugging or shouting ‘Thank you Jesus’ at least not in public
2.  No running high-fives at least not unless the area is clear and there are no witnesses
3.  No laughing at the McCain/Palin supporters
4.  No calling in sick on November 5th. They’ll get nervous if too many of us don’t show up
5.  We’re allowed to give each other knowing winks or nods in passing. Just try to keep from grinning too hard.
6. No singing loudly, ‘We’ve come this Far By Faith’  (it will be acceptable to hum softly)
7. No bringing of  barbeque ribs or fried chicken for lunch in the company lunchroom for at least a week (no  chittlins at all, this may make us seem too ethnic)
8. No leaving kool-aid packages at the water fountain (this might be a sign that poor folks might be getting a break through)
9. No Cupid Shuffle during breaks (this could indicate a little too much excitement)
10. Please no ‘Moving on Up’ Jefferson’s soundtrack…..(we are going to try to remain humble)
11. No doing the George Jefferson dance (unless you’re in your office with the door closed)
12. Please try not to yell—-’BOOOO-YAH!’
13. Just in case you’re wondering, Doing the Running Man, cabbage patch,or a bankhead-bounce on the highway is 100%  okay.
 
If I’ve missed anything feel free to add to the list. I just want to make sure were all on the same page when Obama brings this thing home on November 5th.

So there is this guy named Bubba who lives in the South who is totally racist. He hates everyone of ethnic background so much that when ever he sees anyone of color walking down the street he runs them over with his truck.

Read the rest of this entry »